I Swear


I have a confession to make; I swear. A lot. Maybe not in front of you, usually not at work and hopefully not in public. But I definitely do in front of my kids. 

I know, I'm a mom and I shouldn't do that, right? I have to lead by example after all, and calling the jerk that just cut me off in traffic a "dickhole" (fun to say, give it a try sometime), probably isn't adding to my children's development in a positive way. Or maybe it is? Let me back up.

I didn't have very sweary parents growing up … if my mom let one slip, you definitely knew she was tired, stressed or truly pissed off. My dad was the same, and usually only cursed if an errant Lego brick or Hot Wheels car found its way underfoot (his swear words even rhymed for added comic effect!). Either way, swearing for them was not a part of their day-to-day lexicon, so I can't blame them for my bad habit. 

Maybe Quentin Tarantino is to blame then? As a young teenager I became enthralled with the dialogue in his movies, which are usually peppered with unnecessary expletives. I also grew up in the era of the ever enticing "Explicit Lyrics" CD labels, and blasting Rage Against the Machine on the way to school felt deviant, yet somehow cathartic. Yeah Zach De La Rocha, fuck them! I won't do what they tell me!

I'm not proud of my love for potty words; it's why I make sure to always know my audience. I hear other people in public lazily using swears in place of other words when they should be treating their swears like decadent word candy and it makes me cringe. I also edit myself in public to be mindful of other people who don't value a well-timed cuss because I know I'm not the only person in the world. 

Mayim Bialik has a great parenting vlog on YouTube that I follow, and she recently posted on why she is against cursing in front of her kids (you can check it out here). I get it and I respect her opinion, but for me, it would be disingenuous NOT to curse in front of my kids. It's part of who I am, using that verbal release to express my frustration or color a situation with humorous vulgarity. I feel like I would be doing my boys a disservice if I held back, and they didn't get to see that their mom was a real person that was imperfect and had a few unsavory layers. Plus it just feels good to swear, and "gosh darnit!" doesn't cut it when I bang my hip on the sharp edge of the kitchen island for the 50th time. 

To be clear, just because I have colorful language, doesn't mean that our boys are allowed to in front of us, and they know that. It's a grown up privilege to sling around any word we please, and I still to this day try not to curse in front of my own parents. I'm not so naïve to think that they don't say whatever they please around their own friends, and I don't have any desire to try and control that. A few slips of the tongue by my kids are met with a warning, a reminder, and then we move on. After all, we all need a release against the frustrations of the world. 

How do you feel about swearing in front of your kids? Leave a f*&#$@g comment below! 





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